“Why didn’t you try to find me?” I asked.
“She made me promise. She made me swear on my grandson’s name.”
“You should have let me choose for myself. All of you should have let me choose.”
“I know,” Rachel whispered. “I have regretted it every day. I have thought of you and my grandson every day.”
Leo spoke to her that afternoon.
Their first conversation lasted almost an hour.
He asked about Goldi’s childhood, her favorite food, and whether she spoke of him.
“Every day,” Rachel said. “Even to her last breath, you are all she spoke of.”
A few months later, the four of us visited Goldi’s grave.
Rachel stood on one side with Leo.
I stood on the other.
Johnson placed white flowers beneath the headstone.
For weeks after the letter, I had barely spoken to her.
Leo continued visiting her, and eventually I understood that her 18 years of love had been real even if her silence had been wrong.
At the grave, Leo placed Goldi’s letter beside the flowers.
“I’m glad you loved me,” he said. “But I wish you had stayed long enough to let us love you back.”
Then I finally said what I had carried for 18 years.
“I hated you, Goldi.”
My voice shook.
