Despite them.
And then they returned.
It was a Thursday in October, almost at dusk.
I had just gotten home from work. He had a bag from the market in one hand and his cell phone in the other, reviewing a message from Ximena that said: “Mommy, don’t forget that tomorrow I need black cardboard and an AA battery for the project.” I smiled alone. My daughter was already twelve years old and had inherited from me the habit of giving instructions in practical format.
I went up to the apartment, opened the door and saw her sitting at the dining room table, doing homework. He raised his head, smiled barely, and returned to his notebooks.
—Hello, ma.
—Hello love.
I was going to ask him if he had eaten yet when the doorbell rang.
I frowned.
I wasn’t expecting anyone.
I looked through the peephole and the air got stuck in my chest.
It was Rodrigo.
And at his side, Ofelia.
For a second time did not pass. I felt the rancid smell of the court again, the diaper bag weighing my arm, the poisonous phrase spitting out my soul. Rodrigo was older, his face was more swollen, with pronounced receding hairlines and an expensive shirt that could no longer hide his fatigue. Ofelia had also aged, although in her time was less noticeable on her skin than in defeat. He no longer had the haughtiness he had before. I had something else. Need.
I didn’t open right away.
Ximena saw my face.
—Who is it?
I didn’t want to lie to him. He had never lied to her about her father. He had only adjusted the words to his age. I always told him the basic truth: that he left, that he didn’t want to be there, that it had nothing to do with her value. When he grew older, he understood the rest.
—It’s Rodrigo —I said.
I didn’t say “your dad”.
She left the pencil on the table. He didn’t turn pale, he didn’t break, he didn’t show childish curiosity. She just got serious.
—And what do you want?
—I don’t know.
The doorbell rang again.
I opened the door just enough that it didn’t seem like an invitation.
Rodrigo spoke first.
—Mariana.
He said my name as if he had the right to taste it in his mouth after ten years.
—What are you doing here?
